


Encore!

by Hat_Brat



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), All remotely sexual content occurs between adults, Canon Divergence, Dialogue Heavy, Enemies to Friends, Everyone Loves Hat Kid, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hat Kid being a sweetie, Headcanon, Headcanon everywhere, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inspired by Music, M/M, Marching Band?, Mild enemies to lovers, Moviemaking, Multiple Pairings, Music, Musicians, Mutual Pining?, No Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pandering to a Very Specific Demographic, Post-Game(s), Puppy Love, Romantic Comedy, Self-Indulgent, Snatcher Stop Being an Asshole Challenge, Swearing, Team as Family, The direction of this fic is subject to change, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Unofficial Sequel, Unresolved Sexual Tension, at least i hope it's funny, just a lil though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22413529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hat_Brat/pseuds/Hat_Brat
Summary: What started as DJ Grooves accidentally stumbling across the Conductor's other greatest passion would soon turn into a massive project, the biggest show of the century, a grand display of light and color and music...also known as Encore!, the long-awaited sequel to Grooves' hit movie The Big Parade.
Relationships: DJ Grooves & Hat Kid (A Hat in Time), Hat Kid & Mustache Girl (A Hat in Time), Hat Kid & Snatcher (A Hat in Time), Hat Kid (A Hat in Time) & Everyone, Hat Kid/Timmy (A Hat in Time), The Conductor & Hat Kid (A Hat in Time), The Conductor/DJ Grooves (A Hat in Time)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 111





	1. Prologue

It started simple.

It had been a long, long time since Grooves had had a ten p.m. flash of inspiration like this one, and it came when he thought he heard _gunshots_ from down the hall.

From behind his huge studio desk the penguin jumped a solid few inches into the air when the air split with a _CRACK._ Then came another, and another! His flipper reached for the phone set beside him to call for security, when there were a couple timid crashes and a low, booming hit, and Grooves realized what it was. One of the Conductor's Wowl owls must've moved his drumset into one of the rooms and started to practice. 

Grooves had nothing against percussion. Sure, it was a little loud, but having seen the Conductor's owl band perform before, he knew that they had more instrumental talent than he could ever possibly hope to shake a stick at, and thus, deserved a little respect. Maybe the background track would help him focus, he thought as the drummer busted out a couple basic rudiments on the snare. He waited for the trumpeter, bassist, and pianist to join their bandmate, but those signature warm-up scales and long tones never arrived - making the drum sound oddly lonely, out of place. And loud. Seriously, why hadn't they invested in soundproof walls when they bought the studio all those years ago?

He stood slowly from his chair to go investigate the drummer. It wasn't difficult to play hot and cold with such a noisy, repetitive instrument. The drummer picked up a smooth, almost drunkenly lopsided groove that varied its pattern every so often, returning to the base kick-hit beat after a few measures. Eventually, he passed by a door opened just a crack and was distracted by a flash of red and gold - the drumset, set up in one of the prop storage rooms. 

Uh...Was that a kazoo?

Grooves peeked through the crack in the door, and, well, he hadn't been this startled in quite awhile!

Sitting behind the drumset, bopping his head a little and holding sticks that flew across it, was the Conductor, with a professional-grade kazoo between his teeth. He was completely and totally absorbed in whatever he was doing, oblivious to Grooves' presence; if he had eyes, they would be glazed over with how hard he was zoning out. The lights were on, but nobody was home. In the short minutes since he'd began, the Conductor had become completely and totally lost within his private rhythm.

A small melody leaked from the kazoo, nothing that Grooves had ever heard before, but charming nonetheless. Soon enough, the DJ found himself nodding his head along with the steady beat.

Until the Conductor accidentally hit the rim of a drum, and and otherwise cute song devolved into enraged cymbal crashes and improvised kazoo screaming.

"Darling, darling!" Grooves exclaimed, bursting into the storage room without a care to the Conductor's reaction. "That is enough! You're going to break something!"

Conductor ceased his tantrum abruptly, his gaze flitting up to meet Grooves' eyes as he removed the kazoo from his mouth and set it in his lap. It wasn't quite hostility radiating from the old owl, but it wasn't goodwill, either. Grooves stayed carefully on guard. 

Then the Conductor sighed, his shoulders slumping. "Ye didn't see none o' this, got?"

"...Right."

"Guess ye discovered me li'l side hobby." Absently the Conductor started drumming lightly on his left knee, huffing indignantly. "...Ah woulda appreciated a knock, ye know!"

"Sorry," Grooves offered. "You were loud."

Tactfully Conductor hit a single shot on the snare, a snap so loud it caused Grooves' ears to try and implode in on themselves. "Gah!" He reached up and clapped his flippers over his ears. 

The Conductor _tch_ ed. "Wuss. See these?" He gestured up to his own ears, parting the feathers ever so slightly to reveal a piece of plastic, gold so it blended in with the rest of him. Hearing aids. "It's not jus' because o' action films that me ears are shot. Ah started damagin' them when I joined marchin' band in high school. These are gonna be loud, they hafta be." 

Grooves shifted his weight from one foot to the other, then back again. "Fair..." Still nervous that the Conductor would pull that again, he cleared his throat. "You are talented, though."

Conductor brightened like an excited child, an expression that lifted Grooves' spirits. "HA! Ah'm nae jus' some percussionist! Ah was section leader for six years and drum major me senior year o' high school!" He put a hand proudly on his chest. "The Wowl drummer, Ah taught 'im everything he knows. Ah remember the wae I stunned me director when Ah went to college, outshinin' the rest o' the drumline right off the bat!" He began to cackle lowly, smugly. "Those wind players were always fulla hot air.Ah scared the peck out o' them. Me nickname was Teeth!"

 _Teeth._ A snort escaped the DJ. As usual, the Conductor's sense of self was way overinflated, but unlike his moviemaking skills, Grooves actually acknowledged and appreciated this new talent. "So you played all throughout high school and uni?"

"Yes!" Wow, it was rare to see Conductor this fired up about anything other than maybe his train. "I wouldnae have gone where I did if the uni didn't have a marchin' band!" He pumped his fists a few times in elation. "Scholarship central!"

"I dabbled in band a bit," Grooves murmured. "Ended up quitting after two years, though."

Conductor ran his eyes up and down Grooves, sending shudders down the penguin's spine. "Ye look like the alto sax type," said the Conductor.

Grooves laughed a little. "Tenor, actually. I was never that good, always fourth or fifth chair."

"Chamber or marching?"

"Jazz."

"Nerd." The Conductor giggled. "Real men do marchin' band."

Never before had Grooves encountered anybody who radiated this much positivity, except maybe Hat Kid, nevermind the Conductor of all people. Maybe he didn't know that much about marching band, but the owl looked so _happy_ when he talked about it...

"Ah was always gettin' inta fights with pit, even when I was drum major," the Conductor continued. "All kindsa arguments. 'Further ta the right! No, the marimba needs ta be on the 50! Oi, why arent'cha starin' at yer mallets like yer supposed ta?!' I was ne'er in pit, always stronger on drums than I was on mallets-" He caught the look on Grooves' face. "Yer have no idea what any o' that meant, do ye?"

Ruefully, Grooves chuckled. "Not a clue, darling. But you seem to enjoy talking about it, so don't stop."

The owl happily obliged. An easy comradely, one that they had thought died after they graduated from university, settled between them as they traded jazz band stories and laughed at Conductor's "this one time at band camp" tales. Grooves hadn't been this comfortable around anyone in a long while.

Watching his fellow director retell fond marching memories, a plan slowly took shape in Grooves' mind. He'd known he'd wanted a sequel to _The Big Parade_ the moment the Conductor burst into his office days after its release with a couple loud critiques - not about the loudness or plotlessness, but about the impossible choice of marching double basses and lack of percussion. _Would he agree to...a collaboration project?_

**********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all ever just write something that's a love letter to your favorite game AND your favorite hobby? That's what I'm going for here.


	2. Meltdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a school of thought that the way a person plays music says a lot about their state of mind, so maybe what Mu really needed to hear all this time was Hat's trumpet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here are our best girls! 
> 
> Should I have included one-sided Mu/Hat in the tags? I didn't think it was important enough, to be honest. This is the only chapter you'll really be seeing it instead of its effects on other characters.
> 
> I got the idea in the middle of writing this to give each chapter the name of a song...bonus points if it was for symphonic band. I'll take suggestions.

Mafia Town was creeping with anticipation, palpable in the way Mafia men bumbled about the town chatting among themselves. The hustle reached its peak when three or four men descended into a complete brawl in the market square when one caused the others to fall over and drop their crates of fruit and fish. Watching the cartoon carnage below, balanced perfectly on a ribbon line, was Bow Kid, with a small smile in silent amusement. _What losers..._

A celebration was planned tonight, or so Bow caught wind of. If what the Cooking Cat had told her was to be believed, it was primarily for the appearance of a centennial multicolored meteor shower happening tonight, but it wasn't just that - today also marked two of this planet's years since she and her Hat Kid had defeated a red-hooded mustachioed menace armed with God-playing, reality warping hourglasses. Though the Mafia Boss would never admit that he'd found it within his visceral smoothie of a heart to forgive Hat for what had happened to him, there'd been a celebration like this one last year, too. Bow wasn't one to doubt the Cooking Cat, either.

...Where was Hat, anyway? And for that matter where was Mustache Girl? The two had vanished sometime before with Hat citing that Mu needed to talk before the shower. Bow, frankly, was jealous. Maybe it wasn't her business, but she still might've liked to be with Hat right now, instead of alone while those two were doing who knew what who knew where. 

As the sun set around her the faint, crisp sound of a familiar etude made her ears perk up. Bow recognized that tune...

*********

Hat struggled to settle atop a vacant hot air balloon. She'd been on one plenty of times before, but she was always alone enjoying the view, and Mustache Girl's added weight made the fabric give in unexpected ways as she scooted over to her friend where she sat, viewing the horizon. It was warm beneath them and chilly above. Together they sat, heads tilted slightly away from one another, the air somewhat thick and the reason they were up here to begin with unclear - at least from Hat's perspective.

She slanted a glance over at Mu. The other girl insistently stared away, shoulders round and her knees drawn up to her chest, where she embraced them. Mu was taller now, but not by much, and even sitting Hat's head went over hers. Gingerly, she laid a hand on Mu's shoulder. "...Are you okay?" she asked finally. 

Mu's head snapped around, surprised at the contact, making Hat shrink away a smidgen. But then Mu relaxed morosely, her large yellow eyes softening. "Am _I_ okay," she murmured. "I should be asking _you_ that. Your last Timekeeper mission was really long, wasn't it? We haven't been able to talk in awhile."

"Five weeks," said Hat. She'd been tasked by the CEO of Time to repair a series of Time Rifts on the other side of the galaxy that were worryingly close to collapse, a task incomparably easy when she considered what she'd faced on this planet. "But really, I'm fine. We came up here to talk about you."

Mu had been acting weird even before Hat and Bow went on their last mission. Hat had spent so much time on this planet since declaring it her second home that she was aware of her little family's little tics, and Mu had been setting off _all_ the alarms. Mu flip-flopped between being horrendously antisocial and all over Hat, moods more unpredictable than a collapsing star...well, more than usual. _Did I do something to make her upset?_ Hat wondered worriedly. 

"You always say and do stuff for other people," Mu muttered darkly. "I wonder why no one ever gets mad at _you_ for it."

Oh. It was about this. "Mu, I think we both know what you did wasn't for the greater good..."

"Maybe not," she snapped, turning and snarling at Hat. "But it's what I _thought_ I was doing it for. Isn't that what matters?" She turned away again, burying the bottom half of her face into her arms. "Why am I the bad guy for trying to do what I thought was right? Why do you and Bow and everyone else hate me? Why are you two the heroes?"

Hat wrinkled her nose. She swore they'd had this conversation many, many times, but...well, Mu was an anxious person. Maybe she just needed to hear this again. Hat didn't mind so much. "That's not true," she said quietly, putting her hand on Mu's shoulder again. "Bow and I don't hate you. And...Bow and I aren't heroes. If you think about it, we're guilty of the same things as you." Hat's shoulders slumped. "We killed people to get what we want. We were careless with the Time Pieces and everyone suffered because of it."

Such was why almost everyone in Hat's little family had tried to kill her at some point. _Getting shanked in a basement was definitely never on the bucket list._

Mu hadn't ever heard Hat talk in that tone of voice...It scared her a little. "Well," she said bashfully. "...I think you're a hero..."

Hat smiled a little in Mu's peripherals. "Thanks." She turned back to Mu with a deep, intense stare. "More importantly, everything turned out okay in the end, right? Bow and me and you are together again and people who hated each other before don't hate each other so much anymore. I'm glad I can be here with you today. I've learned a lot from you, you know."

Hat thought of herself as a blunt person, almost passive in how little things bothered her. The blonde before her nearly destroying the space-time continuum? Not a big deal. Mu almost prayed for Hat to do a complete 180 in that moment and start screaming, though she knew it never would happen.

"I just..." Hat murmured, "wish I could go back and do everything over." She laughed without humor at the resulting expression on Hat's face. "Oh, Hattie. I'm not gonna steal the Time Pieces again."

"Okay."

A long, long silence passed while Hat watched the sun creep ever closer to the ocean, searching for something to say.

Finally, she piped up tepidly. "What would you do differently?"

This was Mu's chance. She had to say what she'd meant to say now, even if the thought made her stomach drop into her pelvis. 

She might never have the guts to try again if she didn't.

"I...would tell you I like you sooner, I think."

It was out in the open. Hat's head whipped around at breakneck speed, eyes wide with surprise. "Oh. Oh, Mu-! I never knew you felt that way!"

"I'm sorry!" Mu balled up her fist, gripping fistfuls of her pink dress and stuffing her face into her elbows. "I know you and Bow are...whatever you and Bow are, and I don't want to get in the way of that. Cod..." Her shoulders began to tremble softly. "I'm so stupid..."

Guilt crawled up out of Hat's throat and died, leaving a bad taste in her mouth. She awkwardly put an arm around the girl's shoulders as some show of comfort. Hat loved Mu, sure, but... _Not like I love Bow._ Hushed sobs rippled from Mu's throat. 

_Oh no._ "Mu," Hat said, reaching for her friend with her other arm. "Oh, Mu. I'm sorry. Please stop crying." _You're gonna make me cry, too._ "I know!" She pulled away quickly, wiggling her hands with a sudden rush. "I-I'l' play you something. People say they feel happy when they hear my trumpet!" She reached up and squished Mu's cheeks with her palms, faking a smile for both of their sakes. 

"Huh?" Mu looked confused behind her tears, a little taken aback. Only Hat would offer something so out of left field..."O-okay, I guess..."

Hat sat back once more, removing her titular top hat and turning it upside down. Then, to Mu's alarm, her entire arm disappeared into it, then the other, and she pulled out a brown instrument case bigger than her head! Hat chuckled cheerfully. "It's magic!" she said. Putting the case on her lap, she gave one jazz hand to emphasize. "Magic~!"

From the case she produced a golden instrument with a peachy sheen to it. It had three valves and a mess of piping that Mu, as a strings player rather than a winds player, couldn't possibly hope to understand. Delicately, Hat stuck a silver mouthpiece into it and assumed a playing position, slipping her thumb and ring finger into the slide rings. She pumped the valves a few times and blew a stream of warm, noteless air into it. "It's not totally a trumpet," she murmured absently. "It's more like a horn from my world. There's a band that practices on my ship sometimes, and their trumpeter called it an 'E flat' trumpet. I think it's pretty."

"It is." Mu laid back to look up into the sky, where the first few stars were peeking through the atmosphere. Resting her head on her arms, she sighed. "...Serenade me," she said with another humorless laugh.

"Alright." Hat took a deep breath. "'An Etude in Time', number one."

There was a certain fascination Mu had always held toward the few wind players she'd encountered in her life, back when there were people like her on this island. The way they held their instruments like babies, the purpose with which they pressed the keys and moved their tongues...

The way Hat kissed that mouthpiece...

And she pointed her bell to the sea and played, loud and proud. 

Her face went red with the effort, determined to reach everyone in her mind with this one song. Not one to question the why of things, though she wasn't sure why in the first place, she ignored the mezzo piano mark she remembered from her sheet music and played with the volume and tone she found befitting of this situation. Her spirits soared as blood rushed to her head.

Mu felt Hat's conviction in every note, shaking her to her very core. For being a teenage girl, Hat had quite the pair of lungs on her, strength rooted in her species as well as hundreds of long hours practicing, pouring her blood, sweat and tears into perfecting her craft. Shoulders rigid, Hat played at but one dynamic, and Mu couldn't help but notice that the amount of sheer emotion she funneled into her playing destroyed any subtlety in its delivery, each articulation shrill and harsh.

Then Hat's eyes half-lidded. Her bell fell from its erect position ever so slightly, and with the key change came something...sadder. Hat's volume dropped. She closed her eyes serenely, and let herself be swept away.

She was taken back to a dark, dark time in her life. All around her, Hat's friends brandished fists and knives and unbridled willpower, taking each other down to give Hat the strength she needed to finish Mu off. She saw, with heartbreaking vividity, Bow in the arms of the Snatcher, gasping and dying and bursting pitifully into a couple of red Pons...Hat's final push. The primordial rage and agony on Hat's face haunted Mu's nightmares to this day. In her memories she saw Hat swing Bow's beloved bat over her shoulder, ready to smash Mu into oblivion-

The song ended somberly, tapered but sudden enough to catch Mu off guard. She opened her eyes to feel tears dripping down her face.

"Heh..." Looking up, she spotted Hat swiping at her eyes with a purple sleeve. "Sorry...I, uh, wrote that piece about...when all my friends were sacrificing themselves to help me fight you. It still makes me sad."

"Weird..." said Mu absently. "That's what it made me think of, too."

Hat laughed hollowly as Mu sat up, lowering her horn in embarrassment. "Gosh, that probably wasn't good to cheer you up! It was just the only etude I had memorized, and I love it to bits, so-"

"It's okay, Hattie." Mu cut her off, reaching over and patting one of her cheeks. "I like your playing. A lot."

It was Hat's turn to look taken aback, but it was quickly replaced by a genuine smile of appreciation. "Thanks." 

_Maybe things will be okay._

It wasn't the end of the world if Hat didn't reciprocate Mu's feelings. _Really...I should've known, the moment I first saw them together, that I never stood a chance._

"Hehe!" Hat pulled away abruptly. "Watch this." She leaned a little bit over the edge of the balloon, pressed a button on her trumpet, and blew through it. A waterfall of cloudy water spilled out of it and over the side of the balloon. 

"Yuck!" Mu exclaimed. 

"I know, right? That's all spit!"

"GROSS!"

For a little while longer the two chatted about Hat's trumpet...and Mu did feel a little bit better. 

She'd just needed to hear Hat's trumpet to accept what was long established as the truth. Hat would never love her like she loved Bow. To be honest, Mu would probably cry about it later, but it didn't matter right at this moment - where she was here with Hat, laughing and making memories. 

Just for now.

*********

Several days later Bow sat in front of Hat's TV, playing a 32-bit platformer about a corgi when Hat's rear control panel to her right tweeted loudly - a ringtone of sorts. The ship was being hailed. Bow jumped in surprise, dropping the controller by mistake. She muttered curses as her canine avatar fell into a bottomless pit on the screen.

It had to have been Hat and Bow's former bosses, the Conductor and DJ Grooves. They weren't the only ones capable of hailing the ship, but the Cooking Cat was on board at the moment and Snatcher never called anyway, so Bow ruled them out. She zipped over to the panel and "boop'"ed one of the many screens to greet a crystal-clear audio-only call from their bosses-turned-weird-uncles.

Of course, Hat knew none of this. She was stuck in the Machine Room, with the Wowl band, where the trumpeter had put in front of her a particularly difficult piece titled "Sand n' Sails Movement 2: Heatgusts". The rhythms nor time were the issue, Hat reflected with a frown, just the notes; the range of the piece was barely outside what she'd practiced. She read through the music absently, fingering what she could and tightening up her mouth in anticipation.

The trumpeter, a quiet guy named Alex, peeped over her stand then glimpsed up to meet her eyes. "Play it an octave down at first," he suggested. "Don't worry too much if you can't play it right now. It's the first time the rest of the band has seen it, too."

"I'm sure this will go swimmingly," Hat deadpanned.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Fellas," he asked a little louder to the rest of the band. "From the top?"

A chorus of soft "sure"s responded. Alex put his wings up to conduct, gave the band a second to be in playing position, then began counting for them. "One, two, three, four-"

"Wait!"

Hat sighed through her teeth, not one to irritate easily, but practice today was just getting on her nerves for some reason. "What is it, Bow?"

Bow poked her head around a corner, eyes as wide as an owl's. "Phone call," she reported bluntly. "It's the Conductor and DJ Grooves." She clapped a hand over her mouth. "I'm worried about them, Hat! They're talking nonsense!"

"Sounds serious. Hold my horn." Hat stuffed her trumpet into Alex's arms and lead Bow by the hand to another of the ship's computer's many interfaces. "Computer," she ordered it. "Redirect call from living room to Machine Room."

A beep signaled the success of the action. A timid baritone sounded from the panel. "...Darling? You there now?"

Hat smiled. "Grooves," she greeted warmly. "Is Connie there, too?"

"Aye, lass. Good ta hear from ya."

"What's the matter?" She turned to Bow as the girl joined her by her side. "Bow says you're talking nonsense."

"Nonsense?!" Grooves sounded deeply offended. "Why, darling, this is a splendid idea! The Conductor and I are going to do a collaboration project!"

Hat's jaw dropped so far she swore she felt it brush the panel beneath her. _Oh._ She understood Bow's concern all of a sudden. "I..." she mumbled, exchanging a glance with Bow, "think you guys might be sick. Sit tight. I'll be on the planet soon and I'll bring soup."

"No, no no!" the Conductor barked. "We're serious, lassie! We've got an idea for a sequel to _The Big Parade_!"

 _The Big Parade?_ It sure had been awhile since Hat and Bow had heard about that old stunt. While she remained inclined to blow the birds off as feverish and delusional, she closed her mouth and narrowed her eyes. "Go on..." she said, still skeptical. "I'm listening..."

*********


	3. If We Were a Movie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An idea is pitched to Hat and Bow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Yeah, the chapter title is a Hannah Montana song. It fit. Sue me.)
> 
> If it wasn't clear, a Timekeeper is just someone who watches over the Time Pieces and collects new ones if they appear. Time Pieces are anti-aging...so basically, I'm pulling the loli-who's-actually-centuries-old card. Whoops. 
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos!

"CONNIE!"

Hat had gotten to Dead Bird Studios as soon as she could after the director's call, and the two waited for her and Bow in a lobby sparsely populated by other owls and penguins. Hat sped into the Conductor's gold arms, letting him spin her around in excitement and laughter. Bow shyly edged up to Grooves and put her little arms up, murmuring something like "Pay attention to me." Grooves chuckled and lifted her into his arms. While they both had worked for both directors, in the Conductor's movies Bow had taken a backseat, and in the DJ's movies it was the reverse, with Hat as the deuteragonist. It was no secret that the difference was because it was painfully clear each girl had a favorite director, and each director had a favorite girl. 

Having returned fresh from a Timekeeper mission, it had been a hot second since they'd seen the directors anyway. The four really needed to go for cake or something sometime.

"Thanks for getting here so quickly," said Grooves around Bow's head. "We shouldn't take too much of your time. We've got sketches of sets and costumes downstairs and a plot draft, too."

Still with her hands on the Conductor's shoulders, Hat glanced up at Grooves. "Just how much did you get done in how much time?"

Conductor shrugged. "Three weeks worth in three days, maybe...?"

"It was mostly Conductor," Grooves said, pointing at his rival like a child tattling to his mother. "His coffee breath is worse than normal."

Frantically Conductor ripped away from Hat, growling in his throat and fumbling around in his pockets, eventually pulling out a red metal tin and popping a few breath mints. "Damn it, Grooves. Yer the one who _gave_ me such a ridiculous deadline."

"I knew you could do it, darling," the penguin replied cheerfully. "Come now, we've things to talk to the girls about!"

The Conductor's expression morphed into something unreadable. Bow wiggled out of Grooves' hold to take Hat's hand and follow the two birds through the Conductor's half of the studio and to the elevator that took them down to the office and storage level. 

After that there was a general air of friendliness and cheerfulness radiating off of all four of them. Hat wasn't ignorant of the smiles the Conductor and Grooves shot each other, or the general atmosphere that was uncharacteristically tension-free. It wasn't unpleasant, either. Hat and Bow were just happy to be able to be with both directors at the same time without a verbal (or physical) fistfight...or knife fight, Hat thought with a pointed glance at the Conductor. She intertwined her fingers with Bow's. Her face said she thought time like this was nice, too. 

How long it would last was unclear.

Grooves and the Conductor spoke of their idea like the girls were already on board - and, Hat decided, she supposed she was. _I appear to have not a choice nor anything better to do._ The idea itself was boney and definitely a draft, a shell of what it would soon become, but it brought Hat joy nonetheless. She was sure it was going to be good.

"We know it's a fledgling of an idea," Grooves explained, seeming to have read hat's mind. In front of them, the elevator chirped at them and slid open. "But we like to write characters around the actors we know are going to play them."

"It's why we've used a similar set of actors for every movie," the Conductor added.

"Right." Grooves gestured politely with a wing for the girls and the Conductor to exit before him. "We wanted to make sure you were willing before we made any more plans!"

Bow smiled over at Hat. "I'm game," she murmured. 

"Me too." Hat pumped a fist in excitement. "Heck yeah! It'll feel good to be back in front of a camera!" She glared playfully up at the directors with a grin as the group made their way down the office hall, past other Express owls and Moon penguins, to the Conductor's office. "And maybe we'll got through some legal processes to give permission to use our image and stuff so we can actually get paid, yeah! I'm friends with a lawyer! I'll sue!"

The two directors chuckled uncomfortably, and the Conductor reached over to tap the DJ's shoulder.

"Isn't that, like, doubly illegal since we're minors?" Bow tapped her chin. "I don't remember signing anything last time."

Face betraying that he'd been caught pretty off guard, the Conductor stopped dead and started talking rapidly with his hands. "Yeah, well, uh, here's the thing, lassies-"

"We didn't tell you this when we made your bird identities, but-" Grooves cleared his throat.

"Legally," said the Conductor, pointing at Hat, "in the eyes of the United Federation o' Birds, yer me kid. And Bow is Grooves'. So we made those decisions for ye, back a few years ago."

Bow broke into giggles behind Hat's back, and whether they were of amusement or disbelief was unclear. Hat growled slightly. "...And you didn't tell us this until _now?_ "

"It wasn't important!" the Conductor whined defensively. "We're sorry, lassies. Ye'll get paid this time, we promise!"

The group took a left turn into an ajar grey door into the Conductor's neat office, barebones with only a few filing cabinets, a grand desk with a computer, and a red rug on the floor. Hat clicked her tongue disapprovingly, passing past the Conductor and pulling up a wooden chair from near the wall to put it in front of the desk. "That's not what I'm worried about," she scoffed. A shudder flew down the Conductor's spine at the smug sideways look she shot him as she sat down. "...Dad."

" _Lass._ "

"You're in trouble," Bow informed Grooves quietly. "This is something we're gonna hold over your heads, you know." She put her hands up, asking him to hold her again. She was up to his belt now, Grooves reflected. Soon she'd be too big, but for now, he lifted her up and she snuggled up against his soft chest feathers. "I know, darling," he said awkwardly. "...It was rotten. We just didn't see any other way around it." A realization came to him with a frown. "Since you _are_ a minor, you couldn't have signed anyway, with out your mom or dad. Maybe there really was no other choice."

"Hat's mad." She pointed to Hat, who was laughing and harassing the Conductor, darting around him with the occasional small punch here or a pluck of a feather there. "She gets like that when she's mad."

"You aren't, darling?"

"Nah." Bow sighed happily. "I don't mind so much. I thought of you as part of my family anyway." Grooves' heart melted just a little.

Conductor wrangled himself free of Hat's wrath and stubbornly plopped down at his desk across from her, shielding his head from further assault with his arms. Grooves carried Bow in to join, setting her down on the desk like she was a cup of coffee or a folder. "Lass, that is _enough,_ ," the Conductor sighed. "We've got work ta do!"

"Alright, Dad," Hat sneered with another click of her tongue.

" _Lass..._ "

"Here's the scoop," Grooves said quickly with a small smile. "We think you'll like this...The working title for our movie is _Encore_. And remember how we like to write characters around the actors?"

"Mmhmm..."

"Well." Grooves shared an excited glance with the Conductor. "We want you darlings to recruit your friends to be actors alongside you!"

Bow tapped the pads of her fingers together in elation and Hat gasped dramatically into her hands. 

"The movie's aaaall about ye lassies," the Conductor said, waggling a finger at them. "Ne'er mind the fact that Ah wouldn't have agreed to a collaboration if ye two weren't involved...Yer deserve some freedom. And we won't try ta kill ye this time!" He purposefully turned his head toward Grooves, who stared back with equal contempt for both their past misdeeds.

Sensing tension, Hat laughed nervously. "I-I think it's a great idea!" she cried. This was more like the Grooves and the Conductor she was used to.

"Me too," said Bow wholeheartedly. "...Gosh, imagine a movie with Mu, or Cookie, or even Snatcher!"

"Pssh, that old worm would never agree to do anything cool like this!" All Snatcher did nowadays was mooch off of the oxygen on Hat's ship, reading and hawking up the occasional Death Wish. He'd never agree to be in a movie...

Which was why Hat was going to try to convince him first.

Bow's big eyes flitted timidly back and forth between her directors. "Can..." she piped, "you guys be in it?"

Conductor reached over and patted the top of her hand comfortingly. "Well, that goes without saying, lass."

Hat narrowed her eyes shiftily. "Still...where is this coming from? When did you two get so buddy-buddy?"

Grooves and the Conductor exchanged a glance, then looked away just as quickly, both muttering some iteration of "Haha, not important". It did little to ease Hat's suspicion. Something happened here, but her dense mind couldn't even begin to guess what it was.

Bow noticed, too, but her expression said she didn't care so much. Their eyes met, having a quick, silent conversation about the situation, becoming so absorbed in it they were caught off guard when the Conductor slapped down a paper folder with enough force to change the subject. "So!" he cried. "Ah been up the past few nights sketchin' till me wrists almost fell off. Take a look at me hard work."

Hat opened up the folder and began to thumb through the stack of papers contained within, eyes growing steadily wider and wider with each new sketch. _Damn, who taught this old man to draw?_ While rough and black-and-white, each sketch brought to life a new angle of each set - the Moon town set during the day and at night, and an air view and a street view of it, a professional recording studio, a kitchen and a bedroom so reminiscent of Hat's own it brought a smile to her face. Bow planted her index finger on a field of flowers with a big tree, the huge moon in the background. "I like this one!" Crusty old man the Conductor may be, but times like this was why Hat respected him; he still brought many people a whole lot of joy."They're great," she said emphatically. "I love 'em!"

The owl brightened. "Great!" Hat thought his expression said something like _Three whole pots of coffee put to good use._

Bow tapped the pads of her fingers together, clearly very pleased with the way the events had turned. "Let's get started!" she squealed. "The sooner we recruit people the sooner we can, right?"

"I like the way you think, darling," Grooves said in amusement. "Do you have anyone in mind already?"

"Well, our friend Mustache Girl..."

One of the penguin's massive eyebrows rose. "Really? The mustached darling?" His voice conveyed his confusion - while the girls were still friends with Mu, they tried to avoid speaking of her even after years had passed to keep her safe.

Surprisingly, Bow sprang to Mu's defense before Hat could even try. "Hey," she pouted. "Really. She's our friend, so why shouldn't she be in it with us?"

Impressed, Hat leaned over and patted her shoulder. She smiled back. 

Grooves and the Conductor shrugged at each other. "Alright," said Grooves, "I suppose I trust you darlings to keep an eye on her-"

"Grrrr!" Hat leapt to her feet on the chair to reach over and lightly sock Grooves in his big, fluffy gut. "She don't need watching! Don't be mean to our friend!"

"Yeah!" Bow joined in, the both of them leaning over to batter Grooves together. The Conductor cackled behind them, crossing his arms and legs. Laughter filled the office. "Darlings, darlings!" Grooves cried, placing a flipper on both of their heads in an attempt to calm them. "Alright! I'll trust your friend!"

Picking at his teeth with a long talon, the Conductor _tch_ ed. "Ah'd like ta meet the angry li'l lass again. So ye'd better go _get_ her."

"Righto." Hat gave a salute without any meat behind it. "Keep those ideas coming...I'm still not sure how you two are working together, but it's nice, so keep it together for a little bit, please." She offered a hand to Bow to help her get down from the desk, which the smaller girl took as she hopped down. "We'll be back eventually. Play nice."

Before she exited behind Hat, she paused, turning back to the Conductor and Grooves with a shining beam. She waved a hand in the air. "Bye, Con!" she sang. "Bye, Papa! See you later!" 

Grooves clapped a flipper over his heart, making a small, defeated noise under his breath. "Buh-bye, darling," he was barely able to struggle out around the lump of adoration in his throat. "Have fun and be safe."

Conductor spun around once the girls had left to stare at the back wall. "...Haha, me sons don't know they legally have a human sister, either. Whoops. Maybe I should tell 'em." He crossed his ankles, refusing to elaborate further. 

"So," Grooves ventured, "we _can_ keep this thing together for their sakes, right?"

"Eh." Conductor shrugged. "Probably."

"...You sure have changed ever since what happ-"

Violently the old owl released a growl and whipped around, jamming a talon in his rival's face. "Shut it."

Grooves put up his flippers up defensively, taking a step back. "Woah! Darling, sorry, I just-"

"Ebabababababab! Ah said shut it!" Lacklusterly he sat back, groaning and pinching the bridge of his beak. "Ah said it before an' Ah'll say it again. I was drunk when that happen, awright? Hasn't changed me none. And if ye keep bringin' that up I'll start sayin' I was drunk when I agreed ta _this_ too."

Abruptly he stood before Grooves could get in another word edgewise. "Got that?" Without giving him a chance to reply, the Conductor stormed off. 

Grooves studied the door that the Conductor left out of, brow furrowed and covering his beak with a flipper in thought. He had but a single sentiment, one he was sure anyone who had seen the Conductor would share. The owl had started scratching the back of his neck after he'd said he was drunk, a tell the penguin recognized from all the years the two had spent in the same building. 

"...Liar."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How the hell did this unabashedly filler chapter stretch nearly 8 pages in my notebook?


	4. Rhapsody in Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Strings players are just the craziest people..." - Hat Kid

_"Hattie, look at this thing that I found!"_

_Upon encountering_ The Tale of Queen Vanessa _inside the Sleepy Subcon Time Rift, Hat and Bow were consumed by an insatiable need to know about the past of the Snatcher and the kingdom he once dwelled in. Given that the devil worm would likely kill them, contract or no, if they pried or even approached him directly, they took what they thought was the next best option: rummaging around the Snatcher's stuff for clues._

_They'd discovered an unforeseen loophole in the Snatcher's magical detection system designed to keep them out of the Subcon Forest unless Snatcher was there. It allowed one of them to be in the forest as long as the other one was doing a Death Wish. Snatcher would put so much energy into maintaining the Death Wish pocket dimension the detection spell would temporarily falter. So, while Hat was stuck with Bird Sanctuary, Bow had returned from raiding the Snatcher's tree home with a nice catch - a tattered book about the history of pre-Vanessa Subcon, a crown, a fencing sword, and most strangely, a violin._

_Now it was just a question of how long they could hide this stuff._

* * *

The answer was apparently forever, since in the two years that they'd been hiding the stuff in the Attic Snatcher had never said a word about his missing stuff. The book was so worn Hat could do nothing more than look at the yellowed pictures. The sword was fun to take down to the planet and poke things with, but otherwise useless aside from cluing in one of the Snatcher's hobbies, and the crown just confirmed again the suspicions that Hat had harbored ever since learning about Vanessa's past: that Snatcher had been her prince. The violin remained a mystery. 

Until now.

When you were royalty, Hat figured, you had all your needs sorted out, so you needed some ways to fill your abundant free time, right? Fencing must've been one way that Prince Snatcher had passed the time, and now she realized that the violin must've filled that purpose, too. Hat bet he was decent. With a wrinkled nose, she pulled out the dusty brown leather case from behind a pile of boxes. Distaste curled in her guts as she thought _I wonder if he tried to serenade that old witch Vanessa with it. She doesn't deserve it, not then and not now._

The instrument was in surprisingly good condition considering it was hundreds of years old. The strings were fraying on the bow a bit, evidence of its use. Experimentally, she drew it across the strings of the violin, and it sang a nervous, out-of-tune note to her. 

Gently holding it by its neck Hat left the Attic, smiling at Bow where the girl waited at the base of the elevator. Bow's purple eyes flashed in recognition. "Remember this?" Hat prompted, holding the instrument out. "Snatcher _does_ know music, so he's fair game for us to recruit. It's not a marching instrument, but the movie's not specifically about marching, is it?"

She shrugged. "Guess not."

"I wonder if he's good."

"He's gonna be mad we went through his stuff..."

Hat laughed. "What's he gonna do, kill us? Remember Breaching the Contract? He couldn't if he tried."

Together the two propelled into Hat's room, immediately zeroing in on a gummy worm sitting above Hat's pillow mountain, a book in his lap, his face like a jack-o-lantern and his body the color of a fresh bruise. The Snatcher made no move to acknowledge them as they entered, turning a page in his huge book. 

"Yo, Snatch!" Garishly Hat put the violin up on her shoulder like she'd seen people do in movies, put her fingers on the strings and started skipping around the room bowing the violin and whooping like a hooligan. "Look what I found~!"

Above Bow's giggles, Snatcher's head snapped up in alarm and his face contorted in irritation. "What are you doing, kid?!" he snapped. "Where did you get that?!"

"It's yours!" Hat stopped, extending the violin out to him. "Remember? We stole it from your house. Whoops!"

"How did you-?!" Snatcher didn't bother to finish the sentence, simply clapping shut his book with a thunderous clap and violently seizing the violin from her hands, simultaneously using his tail to put her up by her ankle and hold her upside down, pulling her up to his eye level while she thrashed around in protest. "I'll have your soul for that!" Snatcher bellowed, shapeshifting until he'd swollen up and filled up a good third of Hat's room in rage. "Sneaking into _my_ forest?! Breach of contract!"

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait!" Hat waved her hands madly. "Nowhere in any of our contracts does it prohibit going into your forest!"

"That aside, sneaking into my house and stealing my stuff is such an _egregious_ wrong I'll have to change the terms last minute!"

"THAT'S NOT HOW CONTRACTS WORK!"

"That's what YOU did to ME!"

"Snatchyyyy!" Bow whined, extending her arms up and waving them around. "Put her down!"

"Oh, don't think you're getting off scotch-free, kitten!" Snatcher whirled around and shoved his face into Bow's, setting down the violin to leave his hands free to poke her in the sternum. "What _else_ did you two steal?!"

"Hat didn't do it!" Bow blurted, putting a hand on her head and feeling faint with fear. "...I took the violin, a book, a sword, a crown..."

"You stole my _CROWN?!"_ With a flick of his tail, he threw Hat away. She yelped as she flew through the air, her cries cut off as she bounced off the canopy of her bed and landed on the floor with a dull _thud._ Snatcher lived up to his name and snatched Bow up, lifting her into the air with a menacing squeeze and a low growl. 

"I'm soooooorry!" Bow wailed, pounding her little fists on the Snatcher's hand. "We were gonna return the stuff and then we forgoooooot!"

Meanwhile, Hat had leapt to her feet, gripping her trusty parasol in one hand and concealing a secret weapon within her other, behind her back. "Hey!" she snapped, scrambling up to the ghost with her friend held hostage. "Why do you care so much, huh? It's just stuff! Don't you always say you don't care about things from when you were alive?"

Snatcher frowned down at her. "Maybe so, kiddo, but that isn't the issue." He turned back to Bow with a sneer. "I won't have you brats going around _my_ forest without _my_ knowledge. And stealing things! I thought we established that a _long time ago."_

Hat braced her parasol in front of her, assuming as best a fighting stance as she could with essentially one hand tied behind her back. "Put Bow down or you'll regret it, you slimy excuse for a contractually obligated BFF!"

"Tch. Whatever are _you_ going to do about it?"

Before he had time to think, _SPLAT!_ Blue spattered all over his face out of nowhere, the collateral drops landing on Bow's cheeks. Hat launched into the air, her hand freed from its burden - a paint-filled water balloon. With each word she cried she walloped somewhere new on Snatcher's body. "WHY! IS! VIOLENCE! THE! ONLY! WAY! TO! DEAL! WITH! YOU! PEOPLE?!"

Somewhere within the slaughter Bow was dropped, and she rolled into the fall, somersaulting away and hiding underneath Hat's desk. "Why can't he just be nice...?"

"Look, pal!" Hat smashed Snatcher's cranium one final time and pushed off of him with her feet, opening her parasol to drift peacefully to the ground. "We're sorry! It was my idea, so don't just harp on Bow! BFFs accept each other's apologies!"

Snatcher rolled his eyes around the paint. Reluctantly, he sighed and got to work wiping evidence of the assault off of his face, the drops landing all over Hat's pillow fort. "Petty theft aside," he complained, "why are you bringing it up now? There's enough musical drivel on this houseship."

"That's not nice," squeaked Bow, still underneath the desk. She was quickly silenced by a dirty look.

Hat glared up at him. "We're making a movie," she said, not even trying to hide the bragging tone and sticking her tongue out. "Our directors told us to invite _friends_ to be in it with us."

Snatcher frowned in disbelief. "What, Grandpa Piss and Shades McGee? Good luck getting that thing off of the ground if _they're_ heading it." Slowly, his size shrunk down, and he drifted backwards, crossing his arms and taking his usual seat with a contemplative tap of his chin. "Might be fun to watch it fail, though..."

"So you'll do it?!" Hat brightened. At the moment, swaying the ghost to her side was more important than defending the birds' honors. 

"Ha!" Snatcher clicked his tongue a few times in rapid succession disapprovingly. "No!" He seemed to take great delight in the way Hat's hopeful smile crumbled and her shoulders fell. "Especially if it involves _that_ stupid thing." He gestured loftily to the violin on the ground. "Go find someone else to pester, kid."

"Oh."

Saddened speechless, Hat shot a dramatically morose glance over to her shoulder and met Bow's violet eyes from where they peeked out nervously. "...Okay, I guess."

Snatcher took a brief moment to wonder why Hat was being uncharacteristically passive about something she very clearly cared about with her whole heart, but that was quickly overtaken by his relief she was leaving him alone. He flipped open his book again and returned to it, blocking out the outside world. 

Hat picked up a purple Snatcher-faced ball that rested near the foot of her bed and began to dribble it with her left hand, using her other hand to gently coax Bow out from underneath the desk. "C'mon, Bow," she cooed in a tone reminiscent of a mother or big sister. "Let's go talk to Mu."

Leaving the violin, still dribbling the Snatcher ball, the two exited the room.

As soon as the first set of doors has shut behind them, Hat stopped dead releasing Bow's hand. The other girl was confused, and watched Hat roll the Snatcher ball down the hallway until it had opened up the other set of doors and away - a diversion, she realized. Hat was making Snatcher believe that they had left. "What are we waiting for?" Bow whispered. 

"Shh..."

After a minute or two, Hat heard Snatcher's book close gently, and him muttering to himself in exasperation. As close as she dared get to the door without it opening for her, she strained her ears to listen. A moment passed, and then a tepid long tone eased out of the violin. She smirked. " _That's_ what I was waiting for."

The sound ended, another second passed, and then another note. Snatcher was just tuning.

"The seed is sown," Hat stressed in barely suppressed excitement. "He _does_ care about the violin. Now all we have to do is wait."

* * *

An intruder alert screamed through the ship, stiffening the spines and elevating the heartrates of all who inhabited it - including the gooey remains of the Mafia Boss, riding on top of Hat's Rumbi. The shock caused the man in a jar to tumbled over, quickly righted by a passing Bow Kid. 

Muttering curses to herself, Hat Kid scrambled up to her front control panel, inputting a couple commands into it, telling the ship that no, there was _not_ an intruder on the ship, and if you ever detected this biosignature again please do _not_ sound the alarms, an input she continually forgot to put in. It was Mustache Girl who stood uncomfortably in front of the exit hatch. She didn't really visit anymore, politely refusing Hat's numerous attempts to come up and have a slumber party, and glimpsed nervously around this unfamiliar place. 

"Sorry about that," Hat said with a chuckle and a grand gesture around the ship. "It doesn't just do that to you. Welcome aboard, thanks for coming."

"Ah, no problem," she said with a smile. "Still woulda preferred to meet down in Mafia Town..."

"Well, you wanted to meet the Wowl band, right?" Hat gestured for Mu and Bow to follow as she picked up a trot to the Machine Room. "They wouldn't last a second in that city of calcite. They're nice, nerdy guys. They knew each other in college, I think...The trumpet's name is Alex, his brother is the drummer, his wife plays contrabass, and her cousin plays piano. Real tightly knit."

Hat and Bow didn't notice, but Mu perked up at the mention of the contrabass.

Bow smiled sweetly as the door to the Machine Room slid open. "I like hearing them practice," she commented. "They're really good. Always rehearsing something for the Conductor's movies."

The band was waiting as they arrived. The pianist was holding a tuning note for Alex and his wife, Dana, the bassist. While adjusting his tuning slide Alex spotted Hat and waved a greeting. "Hey, Hattie! Sorry, we're a bit busy right now. If you want, we can do lessons later."

Hat shook her head. "Not today. I brought that friend I was telling you about."

Mu peeked around Hat's shoulders and instantly her eyes flooded with stars. "Gosh, what a beautiful bass!"

Dana smiled up at her as she came out into the open. "Do you play contrabass too, sweetie?"

"Nah." Mu grinned sheepishly. "I play electric bass. But I've always wanted to learn."

A wonderful look spread across Dana's face and she glanced excitedly back at her husband, who frowned, immediately sensing what she was thinking. "No, dear, I know what you're thinking, but we've already lost a _lot_ of practice time. The Conductor will be livid if we can't record soon."

"Aw, you're already tutoring Hat," Dana protested lightly, "and you're doing just fine." She turned back to Mu. "If you really want to learn, I can teach you, sweetie. What's your name?" 

"...Muna..." Mu glanced away nervously, tapping her toe to the ground. "People call me Mu. I-if you're busy...I mean, I don't want to be a _bother-_ "

"No worries! If it bugs you, think about it this way...Teaching someone will help _me_ improve, too."

"Really?"

"Really."

Alex shook his head, apparently accepting defeat. "I see I can't stop you," he sighed. "Alright. Just remember we've got to practice together _sometime,_ okay?"

Dana chuckled. "Sorry, dear. Thank you."

Hat and Bow grinned at each other, sharing the same thought: _This could be great for the movie!"_

"When can we get started?" Mu blurted in excitement.

"Well..." Dana glanced back at the band, and all three of them shrugged. She took that as permission. "We could do something now, if you wanted."

Mu lit up like nothing Hat had ever seen before, smiling from ear to ear. "Yes, yes please!"

"Alright, then!"

With that, Hat and Bow left them to their own devices after they moved to the other side of the Machine Room. 

"Those Wowl owls are really something," Hat said with a giggle as they sat down before the TV to play video games in the living room. "They're sweethearts."

"Mmhmm!" Bow settled down next to Hat, not playing the game as well, but laying down with her head on Hat's thigh, preparing to take a nap. "I'm glad things went so well."

"Yeah, but maybe we should tell Mu about the movie..."

"Shh. After her lesson." Hat patted Bow's head.

They had a peaceful half hour or so of Hat playing video games, with Bow eventually rolling off of her knee and passing out in front of the TV. It was quiet, aside from the faint, muffled sound of the band from the Machine Room. 

And then the gummy worm decided to show his ugly mug.

Without warning Snatcher in all his awfulness exploded from the tunnel leading to Hat's room, eyes wild and full of rage. "Where," he boomed, "is that _horrendous_ noise coming from!"

Unamused, with a newly awake Bow fussing quietly at her feet, Hat glanced up at him. "What noise?"

"That _noise,_ that...that..." He clenched and unclenched his fists a few times, attempting to find the right words. "It sounds like someone's _mauling_ a contrabass!"

"Our friend's getting a lesson," Hat snapped. "She's a beginner, cut her some slack!"

Snatcher rolled his eyes, his head moving back a little. "Oh, joy. Another faux musician. It's bad enough around here with _you!_ "

"Hey!"

"I'll teach them a lesson!" With that, Snatcher slithered through the air and into the Machine Room. Screams were audible as Hat raced after him and Bow waddled woozily after her.

A second too late, they arrived after Mu and all the Wowl owl had gone into hiding behind the piano while Snatcher swept his gaze angrily over the room, holding the contrabass' bow in one of his noodly arms. "What?" he spat. "All I asked was who was playing that horrible music."

"Okay," Hat replied, jogging up to him and putting her fists on her hips. "But _how_ did you ask?" Bow skittered off to the other side of the Machine Room and got to work soothing the discombobulated owls and coaxing them out of hiding, reassuring them that while Snatcher was a big meanie, nobody's soul would be stolen on this ship. 

"Maybe I yelled a little."

"Mmhmm..."

"A lot?"

" _Mmhmm...!_ "

"Okay fine!" Snatcher blurted. "I came in screeching _'THERE'S A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY FOREST FOR FOOOOOOOLS WHO DISGRACE THE STRINGS LIKE YOU DO!'_ So what?!"

"That's mean, Snatch!" Hat said with a disappointed shake of her head and a point of her small index finger. "You know, you're the reason we don't have company over more often."

Mu and the owls finally crept out, Dana nervously returning to where her contrabass rested against the wall with Mu in tow. "So," Hat continued, "you thought Dana and Mu were playing bad. Is that really a good reason to come and yell at them?"

Snatcher's perpetual scowl deepened. "Who wouldn't?"

Hat's finger redirected to Dana and Mu. "Apologize!"

Ghost and girl leered silently at each other, each just as stubborn and angry, eyes growing narrower and narrower. Mu's nose wrinkled at the tasteless "this town ain't big enough for the two of us" energy crackling through the air.

Finally, after a minute-long standoff, Hat snapped, "Don't make me turn you blue again."

I was enough to crack Snatcher. "Fine. Sorry for yelling."

Hat allowed herself to relax as Snatcher turned fully to address the contrabassist and her new pupil. "My question still stands! Which one of you was playing a minute ago!"

Still wearing an expression of blunt fear, Dana raised a wing. "M-me?"

Snatcher burst out laughing, throwing his head back with a howl. " _AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!_ That's just HILARIOUS! Aren't you supposed to be the superior player? When did you learn to play, yesterday?"

"Snatcher!" Hat hissed. The ghost shot her a dirty look.

"You really are a bad guy." Mu stuck out her tongue. The ghost gave _her_ a dirty look, too.

"Your cheap instrument aside," Snatcher growled, "your sound is _terrible._ Let me show you what a little bit of good technique can do!"

Powerless to stop him, all present took a few steps back from Dana's beloved contrabass. Briefly, Hat wondered how he was supposed to play with only two fingers on each hand, but was distracted from her thoughts when he began.

Though Hat would never admit it, Snatcher's technique was world's better than Dana's. Dana sounded tinny, almost fearful or reserved. Snatcher's sound was rich, dark and smooth, a sonic double-fudge cake. Mu's eyes bugged out of her head, and Dana stood in awe.

He played for a blissful minute, and Hat watched him closely. Then he began to shrink. A third finger, a fourth finger, a thumb all sprouted from his hands. His neck thinned, his shoulders broadened, and his tail split into legs, until what was standing in the Snatcher's place was a very human form that hat recognized as the Prince.

His body was still shades of purple, his face still that of a jack-o-lantern, but that was most certainly the shape of the Prince that Snatcher had once been. He was still garbed in the fancy clothes Hat had seen in the Prince's storybook. His chin and shoulders were well-structured, in his late twenties at most - no doubt he'd been quite handsome when he was alive. Hat met Mu's eyes, and the other girl's were just as wide but nowhere near as shaken as Hat's. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Hat spotted Bow come from underneath the wooden tunnel leading to the other side of the Machine Room, and she gasped when she saw Snatcher. Unfortunately, that's what brought him back to reality. 

His eyes snapped open. "Uh." Looking down at himself, Snatcher lifted the bow from the strings, scanning up and down his arms and legs in shock. "This is, uh..."

Unable to construct words on the situation, he leaned the contrabass against the wall and tossed the bow haphazardly to Dana, fleeing the room as she struggled to catch it. With that, he was gone - _without_ shapeshifting back, Hat couldn't help but notice. 

Silence reigned, an awkward, thick atmosphere that was unusual even by Hat's standards. Dana had been shown up, the Wowl band's practice thoroughly disrupted. Hat and Bow's eyes met, and instantly the two knew what the had to do, charging out out of the room together.

Snatcher had retreated to the Bedroom - where else would he be? Still in his Prince form, he sat in his usual spot, head in his hands and his feet dangling down toward Hat's massive pillow fort _._ His head snapped up to look at them when they entered, his face that of a cornered animal. 

"I'd tell you to get out," he said, "but this is _your_ house and _I_ actually respect boundaries."

"That's not what this is about," Hat countered, genuinely worried. "Snatchy - what was that?"

Snatcher threw up his hands with a groan. "Fine, fine! This is what I _actually_ look like. I started doing the pool noodle thing once I saw you two were kids back when we first met. Kids shouldn't be hard to scare, you know!"

Hat's eyes rolled impossibly far back into her head. "Oh, please! You thought you were _scary?_ "

"I thought he was scary," Bow volunteered, raising a hand.

"Bow! Don't enable him!"

Snatcher grinned. "Thanks, kitten. In any case!"

His body contorted and stretched, ballooning up to a familiar size until seconds later plain old Snatcher took the place of the Prince. "You saw none of that!" he bellowed. "I'll make you sign a contract if I have to!"

_Contract?_

That gave Hat an idea.

Hat quickly plucked some clerical supplies from her desk, a sheet of white paper and a purple sharpie. She scribbled on the paper, ideas flooding from her hands, until the word "CONTRACT" was across its header and Snatcher realized what the girl was doing.

"Ooooh, no you don't!" he huffed indigantly. He reached over and swiped the paper out from underneath her. "What the hell, kid? I'm the one who writes contracts around here! What are these terms, anyway...? 'Join out movie crew and we'll forget we saw that'?"

Hat squealed in protest, running up to Snatcher and hopping up and down, waving her arms. Snatcher looked down at her in disgust. "If you're so eager to die via contract then _I'll_ handle the writing!"

A terrible, terrible smile wormed its way onto his face. "Let's make a deal, kid! I'll construct you a Time Rift. If you survive, I'll join your stupid little project and even let you remember my little slipup back there! if you don't well..." His voice darkened. "You're aware of the consequences."

"Say," Bow piped up, mildly nervous. "You've made us Rifts before...How's this one gonna be any different?"

"Oh, you'll see, kitten," Snatcher muttered with a dark chuckle, tapping his fingers together. "You'll see..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you couldn't tell I'M a WiNDs PlAyeR.
> 
> snatcher plays all 4 string instruments: violin, violin, bigger violin, even BIGGER violin


	5. Rhythm Jump Studio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing: an asshole even bigger than Snatcher, somehow.

Snatcher vanished off of the ship soon thereafter, going back down to his hollow home down in the Subcon Forest to meticulously craft that big bad Rift he had in the works. Only the stars knew when he would return. Hat would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy the rare silence aboard her ship. The Mafia Boss was nowhere to be seen, Cooking Cat was down on the planet, the Wowl owls were somewhere in Dead Bird Studios, probably getting chewed out something awful by the Conductor. With Bow enjoying a midafternoon nap (and she slept like the dead), Hat was completely alone. 

Until her console started chirping. 

_Huh?_ Hat glanced down at it over the edge of the book she'd been reading from where she sat in her captain's chair. The alarm sounded softly, one she hadn't heard in a long, long time. _There's...There's another ship dropping out of warp?!_

But it wasn't just _any_ ship. Peering out of her huge window, she couldn't suppress a gasp of shock. The blue ship, smaller yet similar to her own, was painted dusty blue and had the words _S.S. Warp Star_ inked proudly on its flanks in a contrasting yellow. She knew who owned that old hunk of junk. _What's_ he _doing out here...?_

She watched the ship's owner wiggle out of the exit hatch on his ceiling and glide easily over to her ship, knocking politely on her own exit hatch and asking for permission to enter with his eyes. Hat opened the door up, allowing him in, and as she did she blurted out "Timmy?!"

Timmy continued to fly around Hat's ship, unaffected by gravity. He smirked down at her, shoving his hands in his pockets, the blue tattoos under his eyes shifting. "Heather. Nice to see ya. How've you been?"

"...I could ask you the same thing," Hat said, making doubly sure the hatch was all the way closed. "What brings you to my neck of the woods, T?"

"Just passing by." Timmy inspected the room around him - seemingly to keep his eyes off of her. "I wanted to see you."

"Ha!" Hat smirked back up at him. "BS. Everyone knows you can't stand me."

Her fellow Timekeeper shrugged in mock defeat. "Alright, fine, you caught me. I'm here on official business." Just as quick as it arrived, his smile fell, and he sunk down until he was hovering on Hat's level. "Gramps wanted me to check on you," he explained quickly. "The HQ of Time got some alerts from this sector about a weird Time Rift here."

A nagging suspicion took root in the back of Hat's mind. She frowned. "But it's just a Rift. Nothing I can't handle. What are you and the CEO of Time getting so worked up about? Are you doubting my abilities?"

"No," Timmy, grandson and errand boy of the CEO, replied sharply, disappointed with Hat's lack of concern for the apparent severity of the situation. From his pocket he produced a small orange information chip, a model compatible with Hat's ship. "Let me show you."

She followed him to her rear console, with its many computer screens. A few apt flicks of his fingers and an ovular simulation pulled up on the screen, one Hat recognized from its place in countless textbooks - the universe. "Take a look at this," Timmy said softly. 

Shoulder to shoulder with Timmy, Hat narrowed her eyes at the screen. Everything seemed normal at first, until a purple dot started to swell outside of the simulation, larger and larger until it almost overlapped with the boundary of their realm. 

Timmy pointed to it. "This is the latest data. It's _huge._ It's also highly unstable - not like a Collapse, but like everything inside it is constantly on the move." Face close, he looked over to Hat, grimacing. "Rifts don't form outside of the universe, Heather. Gramps won't listen to me, but my theory is that this is an artificial Rift."

"Hmm..." Hat turned back to look at it, when suddenly something clicked in her mind. She stepped away from Timmy, her expression hardening in accusation. "Wait - the CEO won't listen...So you're here on your own terms. Why here, T? The Rift is waaaaaay far from here." Her eyes narrowed to slits. "Are you accusing me of something?"

Just like Hat thought it would the moment she saw this boy's stupid face, the bad blood between them began to seep up between the cracks. Timmy's eyes darkened. "Not in hell," he said. 

"Then why here, Timmy? I'm not making it, so how do you know someone here is the culprit?"

"Aha!" Timmy leapt back, thrusting an accusatory finger at her. "So you know what's behind it?!"

"I never said that!" Hat's fists balled. 

"And _I_ never said someone _made_ it!"

"You said it was artificial! That means the same thing!"

Timmy lowered his hands, shoving them back in his pockets. "Truth be told," he said, his face twisting into a snarl, "there's been so much spacetime _bullshit_ around this planet as of late once we got this alert my first suspicion something here was causing it. And who do I find but you! It's _your_ fault, isn't it?!"

A growl percolated from deep within Hat's throat. "No way. Don't make accusations without a basis, T."

"Like the sudden influx of Collapses," he continued without regard to her words. "Over and over, get the alert, panic, and as quickly as it appeared the Collapse is fixed. I wouldn't be surprised if you managed to screw up those Rifts so bad they became unstable."

"That's not my _fault!"_ Hat squawked indignantly, stomping her foot. The edges of her vision were turning red. "Look, I made someone on this planet real mad and _they_ made all those Collapses, and I guess they're making this new Rift, too! I can handle it, so take your sorry butt back to HQ and tell 'em Heather Harriet can handle it!"

Timmy's head lolled back a bit as he rolled his eyes. "So it _is_ your fault. Fixing a problem doesn't mean shit if you caused it, Heather."

Just like that, Hat's already short fuse blew. She thought maybe she could put on a good face for this boy and have an actual conversation. Clearly, she hadn't learned from her past encounters with him, from when she was at the Timekeeper's Academy to now. _He hasn't changed a lick since I saw him last - of course he wouldn't!_

She lunged, hands outstretched, and pushed him back with a shout. Unfazed, Timmy returned the motion with a cheap shot to her chest and knocked her to the ground. She bounced back up with fists bared. Stronger than she, Timmy brushed away her blows with his forearms, forcing her back further into the open part of the main room. 

He seized her collar and pulled a fist back with his face twisted cruelly. Hat did the first thing she could think of and chomped down on the soft flesh between his thumb and index finger.

"Gah!" Timmy tore his hand away from her, leaping back several paces. " _Brat!_ "

Hat produced her umbrella and made a motion to lob it at him. He took the bait and tried to dodge, only to realize it was a trap after he'd already taken a hit to the face. Hat released a triumphant whoop, and then Timmy took the umbrella and turned it against her with a sneer on his reddened face. 

Brandishing the stolen weapon he shot towards her like a bullet. Barely in time, Hat ducked beneath him and somersaulted away, switching to her Brewing Hat - her next best weapon. "Strike true," she willed the first magenta vial she pulled of of her hat, hurling it as Timmy made another pass at her. It detonated into his back, blasting him to the floor. 

"Yes!"

After a few seconds, Timmy was back in the air, looking mildly irritated. "You no-good, filthy-"

He couldn't finish as Hat hurled yet another potion straight at his smarmy face. "I hate you!" she burst out. "I hate you, I hate you!" More potions exploded around them, most missing their mark and leaving a glowing mess on the carpet. "Ever since we first met you've just been the _worst!_ "

Sensing for a brief moment Timmy couldn't fight back anymore, Hat ceased her attack. His blood mixed in with the magenta potion on his face, and Hat briefly felt bad when she realized one of the stray vials must've sliced his cheek open. An inch higher and she would've blinded him. He swiped what he could off of his face, having dropped Hat's umbrella. She promptly retrieved it and tried to keep a safe distance away from the boy.

Trying to keep up a facade of toughness, Timmy bared his teeth down at her. "Well, I hate you, too," he spat, clearly shaken. "Sheesh. I can't believe I was ever concerned about you."

"You weren't," Hat snapped. "Never. Not ever."

Timmy waved the statement away, his expression turning unreadable. "Fine. Die then, for all I care. Just don't kill the rest of the universe, too."

"Bastard."

"Bitch."

"Get off my ship!"

"Gladly! Burn in hell!"

He slammed the hatch on the way out, leaving a hairline crack in it.

With him gone, Hat's anger rapidly cooled. Her strength rapidly left her and she staggered over to the window, where she could watch Timmy go back through the hatch on the ceiling of his ship. She pressed her forehead against the glass and sighed, the weight of everything she'd just done collapsing onto her shoulders. _Damn it._

He didn't immediately jump into warp, probably treating his wounds. _I should've known this encounter would just end up like the rest of them._ She entertained the thought of following him. Apologizing.

_Nah, he'd kill me._

_Did I_ want _to make up with him?_

She closed her eyes. _No doubt he's still mad. We've just been too mean to each other for too long. Hell, I told him to go fly his ship into the suns of our planet when I left there - no way he'd forgive me so easy._

_Guess it's just not meant to be._

She peeled herself away and grappled with accepting that she'd never be friends with Timmy, and ran to a solace - a real friend.

Bow still slept peacefully, wrapped into a nest of Hat's comforters. Hat smiled down at her, gently tugging on one of her curls and watching it recoil softly, then settled down beside her. Trying to put all bad thoughts out of her head, Hat joined Bow in the comfort of a nap.

* * *

"Hey there, girls!"

They awoke abruptly, Hat leaping to her feet on the bed ready to fight, and then noticed who the aggressor was.

"Oh. Hi, Snatcher." She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

The noodle hovered above the bed, grasping a yellowed piece of parchment in one hand. Upon seeing him, Bow squeaked and clung to Hat's arm in a half-asleep stupor.

"You're looking a little banged up there, kid," Snatcher commented. "Fall down to the planet or something?"

Hat patted Bow's shoulder comfortingly, wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Nunya business," she slurred out sleepily as the world came into focus, slogging the sleep from her eyes. "What's the matter?"

Without skipping a beat Snatcher slapped down his new contract before them, where Hat began to eye it over drowsily. "It's finished!" Snatcher cried gleefully. 

Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary at first. The header read "DEATH WISH" in blue ink rather than black, and the subheader cheerfully said "I know your ultimate weakness!" _Escape the Rhythm Jump Studio Rift...Bonuses, collect all the Rift Pons and Storybook Pages._ All to be anticipated, and then she noticed another condition.

_Failure means death! No Peace and Tranquility, you lousy cheaters._

"Rude," Hat muttered. She read the contract three or four more times to make sure she hadn't missed anything, then frowned at it. "That's all?" she inquired, honestly quite underwhelmed. _See, Timmy? Nothing I can't handle._

Snatcher grinned with a striking, and typical, evilness. "Oh, yes."

"Um." Bow raised a hand nervously. "W-will I be able to help her out? I mean, you don't like it when we do Death Wishes together-"

"Are you a musician, kitten?"

She blinked a couple times in confusion, then gave a small so-so motion with her right hand. "I-I dabble in piano, I guess..."

He cackled to himself. "Then that's fine!"

Something was definitely weird here, with the ominous subheader and this sudden deviation from the normal rules of Death Wish. Hat decided then and there it was probably best to get this thing over with - it couldn't be too horrible, right? "I can go now," she offered Bow. "You ready?"

Her purple eyes glimmered with the anxiousness she was always existing alongside. "...As I'll ever be."

"Good!" Snatcher clapped his incorporeal hands together. "Let's send you two right over!"

"Snatcher Tips?" Bow blurted at the last second.

That silenced the ghost in an instant. "Uh." He didn't seem to have anticipated the question. "...No, I was never that good at those rhythm games."

_Rhythm games?_

He didn't give them time to think. With a snap of his fingers, Snatcher sent them along their merry way.

* * *

Timmy felt a jolt through his entire body when it happened, though of course, he had no idea why.

His heartrate picked up, making the wound on his cheek bleed further into the bandage he put across it. _What's...What's going on?_

Being the grandson of the kinda-sorta-maybe God of spacetime and all things came with moments like this - being able to feel when the fabric of the universe was disrupted by something or another. He had encountered many a moment like this, where Heather (and possibly Bellamie, too, based on the magnitude of the shock) had entered a dangerous Rift and he could feel it.

Of course, he didn't know that's what was causing it yet.

Pins and needles crawled up and down his arms, a shudder going down his back. "Brrr!" Cosmic creepy-crawlies - yuck! 

He thought of Heather's ship out there, orbiting the planet peacefully. Mocking him. And, well, he hated her, but...

_I don't want her to_ die _..._

Worry wormed into his chest, the same sensation that sent him out here in the first place. _Damn it._ He clenched his teeth. Heather always managed to get under his skin every which way, even after he'd sworn so long ago he wouldn't let her have power over him anymore. _Not fair. I can't make people squirm like she does._

Still minding the bleeding on his face, Timmy eased out into his living room and sat in the air with his arms crossed. There was Heather's boomerang ship, still taunting him. From drawers in his front control panel he produced a spindly black cigarette holder along with a chalky white candy cigarette. It made the air he sipped through it taste sweet.

"...Heather...Whatever you're doing, godspeed," he muttered. 

And then a flash of black snapped through Heather's ship, so quickly through the window Timmy was unsure if he'd seen it at all. A cry escaped him when his muscles seized up involuntarily, his joints locking and the cigarette holder falling out of his mouth. _What was that?!_ Could it be responsible to the disruption of spacetime? He battled with the abruptly tangible presence of the thing, heavy on his chest and suffocating. Not a doubt existed in his mind that it was behind whatever was happening around this planet - the creator of the Rift that Heather had pissed off. Figures it had to be a shadowy thing, potentially a devil incarnate. 

Irritated, Timmy picked up his cigarette holder and replaced the candy cigarette and rose up to the hatch in his ceiling. Regardless of what that thing was, he was going to go give it a piece of his mind!

The presence dissolved once Timmy was in spacewalk, making him once again doubt if it was still aboard the ship. Still, he thought it was too late to turn back. There was still no telling if something bad would happen if he turned back now. 

If he needed to, he probably couldn't come to Heather's rescue from the _Warp Star._

_Why do I care? I hate her...Not wanting her to die is different from actively wanting her alive!_

_Well, obviously it's Belle. She's a sweetie, I'm really worried about her._

Timmy scowled. That was part of the truth, but ignoring the rest of it wouldn't make the rest of it go away. 

_Heather...I shudder when I think of her, my head pounds when I look at her, and my skin burns like acid when she touches me. If my whole body rejects her, why can't my head, too?_

Her exit hatch creaked when he pushed it open and quickly slid in to avoid suctioning all of her oxygen into the vacuum. He winced in a little bit of guilt when he spotted the crack he'd put in it hours prior. The ship was cold. Damn, why did she keep this place so cold?

Timmy leaned helplessly against the glass, eyes half-lidded and a hand over his heart. 

_Hm._

_I...I still remember the little girl Heather was, huh? Before she became a Timekeeper and I fucked everything up. Before she forgot her old life...forgot me._

_I MISS HER._

"Fuckin' fine," he suddenly snapped aloud to no one. "I ADMIT IT! I STILL CARE ABOUT HER!" He threw his head back, yelling his turmoil to the heavens. "Stars above...damn that bitch for being so lovable when I don't _want to_."

"You could stand to be less dramatic, boy," boomed a disembodied voice behind Timmy, jolting him four feet into the air. There was that presence again - it was here! "And cut the swearing. It's so needlessly vulgar."

Timmy whipped himself around, red jacket flying out behind him. "Who-?!" And there it was, a great big purple noodle ghost with a comically uncomplicated face sliding out of Heather's bedroom. Its yellow mouth curled into a smirk and it crossed its arms, so large its head brushed the ceiling. "I should be asking you that, boy! This is my home and you're _trespassing!"_

"But this is Heather's-!"

"I know, let's do this formally!" The ghost's eyes went wide and it clapped its hands together. Timmy scooted back a tad. _What is this thing...?_

_**"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"** _

Timmy clapped his hands over his ears, though it was no use - the voice appeared to be inside his head, screaming. 

**_"FOOOOOOOOOOL! I smell a very powerful soul rattling around in that dingy body of yours, more so than the girl's! So tell you what..."_ **

A yellow piece of paper materialized in front of Timmy, writing words upon itself as he watched. _CONTRACT: You've entered my other home without permission, a sin punishable by death!_

**_"But guess what?! You're lucky...you get to-"_ **

Timmy didn't even bother reading the rest of the contract. With a flick of his hand, he willed it to tear itself into shreds and dissolve back into the nothing it was spawned from, glancing irritably up at the snake. Its expression was frozen in priceless shock, the remaining words drying up on its tongue.

"Look, pal," Timmy snarled, "I'll tell you what. I'm heir to the throne of spacetime and all things - I'm kinda a big deal. Between the two of us, _I'm_ the one who should be making deals, not you. I should be letting _you_ live." He rose up in the air some so he didn't have to crane his neck to look at it. A dark smirk spread across his face, warping his blue tattoos. "I could kill you here if I wanted to."

The thing was clearly unused to facing something so unerringly confident that they were its match. _**"...So could I,"**_ it fired back, resuming a grin. _**"See, boy, you might think you're hot stuff, but this is my corner of the universe! I oughta-!"**_

"Gag me with a spoon."

Timmy extended two fingers, willing the ghost to turn solid and crisscrossed it with his fingers. Where he did, it turned blue, like Timmy was painting it. And judging by its appalled shouts, it was the right move.

Covered head to toe, the ghost's mouth and eyes contorted into a murderous snarl. _**"You got a Death Wish, boy?!"**_

Timmy sneered right back at it. "Let's tango, shithead!"

And between the reigning deity of death of the planet below and heir to the throne of the Universe, battle raged.

* * *

Hat came to on her feet upon solid concrete, immediately tuning into cool silk against her skin - her parade uniform, its shako firmly on her head. In her hand was her yellow baton. _Woah._

The landscape was moody, dotted with magenta crystals, the typical look of a purple Time Rift except for the fact it appeared to be set within the Moon town that DJ Grooves filmed in, but that wasn't what stood out to Hat. 

Instead, it was the music.

"So...CATCHY!"

Hat spun on her cherry-red heel. There was Bow, also in her parade uniform, a sequined red ribbon in her hair to match her skirt. Her face lifted in glee and she began hopping from one foot to the other, pumping her fists to the beat of the music around them. _Oh no, she's adorable._

On the first beat of each measure, there was a noticeable pulse. 

Except, Hat couldn't really tell. The pulse kept coming when she didn't expect it and she couldn't put her finger down on the tempo.

She would've refused this contract if she knew that the weakness that Snatcher was referring to was her complete and total lack of rhythm. 

That was why she hated dancing and even playing with more than one person. One person could compensate for her and her weird sense of time. In an ensemble, _she_ was the one who was wrong, and no amount of work with a metronome or subdivisions in her head had ever really fixed it.

Hat frowned disapprovingly at the two blocks before them, phasing in and out of reality in time with the music. One was blue, the other the same shade of magenta as the crystals in the sky. The Rift Gate to the next level was tantalizingly close the glow of a Storybook Page behind it...Hat wondered if she could cheese the gap, jumping over it rather than skipping across the blocks like the Rift obviously wanted her to. If only she didn't have that one _little_ musical handicap. 

"C'mon, Hattie!"

Parade skipping in time, Bow bounced past Hat and grabbed her wrist along the way. Hat cried out as she was dragged along. Bow leapt effortlessly onto the blue platform as it materialized beneath them just in time, dragging a terrified Hat with her. Before she knew it, Hat was on the other side, right before the Gate as Bow skipped around to pick up the Storybook Page. 

"H-how," Hat said, amazed, "did you _do_ that?!"

Bow raised an eyebrow at her, plucking Hat's shako off and storing the paper she'd retrieved within it. "Simple. The blocks change on one, so if you jump on three, you should be fine. Just count numbers, I guess?"

"Can't I just, like...avoid the blocks?"

"Hmm..." Bow tapped her chin with a finger. "I don't think so...I guess that those blocks are this Rift's gimmick. Can't you feel the beat?"

"Haha! No."

A slump rounded Bow's shoulder. "What do you mean?"

Bashful, Hat scratched behind her neck. "I mean, really...have you _heard_ me? My rhythm is atrocious..."

Bow reached out to pat Hat on her shoulder. "Well, I have faith in you! I'm sure you'll be okay. I can help you, too." She smiled, uncharacteristically bright - this Rift was making her excited. "Come on. It'll be fun!"

Hat glanced uneasily out to the crystal-dotted landscape around them and crossed her arms. _This_ wasn't fun. As far as Hat was concerned, anyone who thought this sort of thing was fun had more than a few screws loose. Completing this Rift and rubbing it in Timmy's face was going to be fun. In the meantime, Hat swore she would avoid the platforms if she could, flirting with death like she usually did. 

Still...

Hat lifted her left heel off of the ground, then her right, alternating to what she thought was the beat. 

"Are you marking time?" Hat could practically hear Bow wrinkle her nose. 

"Yes?"

"Oh. I couldn't tell."

Hat stopped abruptly with an irritate sigh. She spun around to Bow and pointed to the open Gate, scowling. "Get in," she ordered briskly, but still with an edge of humor. "And stop giving me so much grief."

* * *

"WHAT IN TARNATION IS _GOIN' ON OUT HERE?!_ "

Not two minutes into the fight Timmy and the gummy worm were interrupted by a tornado of orange fur and cooking utensils hopping over the railing in front of the Kitchen. The two stopped dead out of shock, and as the opportunity presented itself, the tornado hurled a spatula that his Timmy square between the eyes and a rolling pin that passed through the ghost's body but still got the point across. The ghost lost the integrity of its enlarged form, shrinking down to a more manageable size as the blue paint on his body dissolved into nothing, and Timmy sunk down till he stood on the ground.

The tornado stopped, revealing itself to be an orange tabby she-cat wearing a white chef's uniform and practically steaming from the ears, still brandishing a whisk. "Here I am, back on the ship for less then _twenty minutes,_ and y'all are already out here actin' like a coupla hooligans!" She pointed her whisk at Timmy, glaring fillet knives up at the ghost. "Snatcher, who's this tomkitten?! You didn't drag another one of your poor subcontractors up here, didja?!"

Even the "Snatcher" seemed to shrink in fear of the cat. "N-no, Matilda, I-"

Up went the whisk, straight through the ghost's head. A visible shudder crawled down the length of its noodly body.

"You'll call me Cookie!" barked the cat. 

"Cookie!" Snatcher laughed nervously - did he just shrink a little more? - clapping his hands together. "L-look, we're sorry? The kid just _turned up_ and provoked me, and I was taking _care_ of him..."

Cookie whirled around to face Timmy. "Is that true, tomkitten?!"

Timmy snapped into "respectful young man" mode. "No, ma'am. I'm over here because I've got reason to believe Heather and Bellamie are in danger because of this...Snatcher." He smiled politely. "Sorry to intrude."

"I was just thinkin' I shouldn't trust Snatcher's word," she snarled, paws on her hips. "Where are they?!"

"The brats? W-well, see, there's a Time Rift-" Oh, he was definitely getting smaller.

"And _why_ are they in a Rift?" Cookie demanded.

"...Because I made it?" Snatcher was now Timmy's size.

" _Why?!_ "

"We had a deal!" Snatcher was at Timmy's chest, his voice beginning to pitch up with his size. 

Cookie's ears were flat to her head. Her expression reminded Timmy of his grandfather when he was mad. "Don't tell me you gave 'em another Death Wish!"

"They agreed to it!" Snatcher protested, pitifully small. "The deal was fair! If they escape the Rift I'll let them remember some things they weren't supposed to see and I'll help with their stupid little project! No catches!"

"And _what_ if they _don't?!_ "

"...Looook, the penalty is the same as every other contract..."

Timmy began leering down at the small snake ghost. He glared up at the boy. "I don't even hold souls hostage for Death Wishes!" he squeaked. "Plain and simple. They fail, they die!" 

"DIE?!" It was Timmy's turn to fly off the handle, towering over the miniature Snatcher. "Did you even give them a fighting chance?!"

"Maybe?" Snatcher said. "I mean, the kid's rhythm wasn't ever _great,_ but she's got the kitten with the bow with her-"

"Rhythm?! The hell are you talking about?!"

"Have you _heard_ her trumpet?! She's not just a broken clock, she's missing one of her hands!"

"So you created a Rift - a potentially _universe-ending anomaly_ \- to exploit that weakness and kill her."

"Exactly! You and I are on the same wavelength, boy!"

"How _dare_ you compare me to you! I'm a prince!"

"SO AM I!"

While they were bickering, Cookie the cat had sneaked away, retrieving what Timmy saw now was an empty jar with a blue lid and stalking up behind Snatcher, ready to pounce. By the time the ghost noticed, it was too late - Cookie had him scooped up in the jar and the lid snapped over him, trapping him in a glass prison.

Instantly Snatcher ballooned back up to his normal size in an attempt to escape.

Well, it was an _attempt._

He was forcefully stopped by the glass, and even when he was straining with all of his might and his whole body, Snatcher couldn't shatter the glass or phase free. Timmy's mouth dropped open in amazement. "...How...?"

"Oh." Cookie gave the jar a rough shake, and Snatcher returned to a comfortable size. "Hattie - or, you called her Heather, right? - makes blue potions in jars and vials that turn this little rascal solid. Good thing I hadn't washed this one out yet."

"Do you people _regularly_ trap each other in jars?"

Cookie gave a sly smirk, whiskers twitching. "Maybe a little."

"Wild."

"Damn it!" Snatcher squawked, pounding his fists on the glass walls. "Duped _AGAIN!_ "

"You'll free the girls or you'll stay in there," Cookie ordered calmly. 

The ghost sneered up at her condescendingly. "I can't do anything from this jar," he informer her. "And even if I took them out, who'd fix the Rift then, huh?!"

"Me," piped Timmy.

"You're basically a walking cheat code, boy."

Timmy sneered right back at him. "What tipped you off? This?" If he could make things solid, he could make things _not_ solid, too, and reached through the glass easily to grip the corporeal ghost and squeeze him. Hard.

_**"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"** _

There was Snatcher in Timmy's head again. It didn't matter so much now, but Timmy did retract his hand and leave the ghost alone.

But Cookie wasn't done. She shook the jar once more, watching Snatcher bounce around within. "Snatcher!"

" _ALRIGHT, FINE!"_

Snatcher sat in the middle of the jar with his arms crossed and his back to Timmy. "...I'll let you go help them, boy. But to get you to the Rift you'll need to let me out of the jar!" He pointed to his ceiling of blue plastic.

It seemed Cookie was still unconvinced, glancing worriedly up at Timmy. "Are you really sure, tomkitten? It's gonna be dangerous."

Timmy nodded slowly, offering a hand to take Snatcher. "Danger's just part of the job," he said sadly. _And misery. Lots and lots of misery._ "I need to talk to Heather anyway, I guess."

_Misery does love company, after all._

With that, he popped the lid off cleanly.

* * *

To Hat's shock, progression further down into the Rift was pretty much smooth sailing aside from that one time she got cocky and plummeted into the void. Bow did the majority of the work on the first floor after the entry level ,with all Hat contributing being a Rift Pon that had been sitting atop the giant fountain that required no rhythm jumping to get to. The third floor arrived, with an extra Rift Pon and three pages of the Storybook stored safely in Hat's shako. 

Hat still wasn't one to sit still, however. 

"I'm gonna give it a shot," Hat declared, leading Bow across a tightrope directly in front of where they dropped in. "This Rift can't _all_ be rhythm jumping, right? I can be useful!"

The strain of her first drop into nothingness still showed, with her breaths just a little bit labored and a blue vein pulsing on her temple. Bow, while trusting Hat's abilities, acknowledged that this was not Hat's domain. She was reluctant to even let her move from a designated spot. Hopping off the tightrope, Bow scanned the environment for a potential safe route for Hat to traverse. Quickly she spotted a Pon sitting on a distant concrete structure, and in front of it was another Pon above a rotating platform. Hat would need to jump across tightropes to get there. Easy enough. 

"See those?" Bow pointed to them. "Oh - and that Storybook Page up there. Can you get those, please?"

"Gladly! Three, two, one, break!"

They took off in opposite directions. As Bow predicted, Hat easily skipped a pair of blue platforms and bounced from tightrope to tightrope, and narrowly landed on the long part of the rotating platform. She snagged the Pon from the air, smirking at it in her fingers. Distracted, Hat didn't notice a form appear behind her until he said, rather suddenly, "Yo."

Startled, Hat jumped. And her foot slipped. 

"Shit!" Someone dove after her, and as Hat closed her eyes, she felt solid arms catch her, and instead of falling she was suddenly flying up. She dared to open her eyes, and immediately regretted it.

"Timmy?!"

He smiled sheepishly. "Heh...Sorry about that. Shouldn't have snuck up on you."

Hat bared her teeth up at him. "What are you doing here?!" she snapped. 

Timmy sighed. "Relax. Your ghost friend said he'd let me help you. Took a little roughhousing, but you know how it is." He deposited her on the concrete structure Bow had pointed out, where she promptly collected the next Pon and went out onto another wire, trying to spring up to the Storybook Page, all while ignoring Timmy. 

Bow, however, did _not_ ignore him.

She was suddenly up on the second level that Hat was trying to get to, hopping in place in elation. "T!" she cried. He grinned at her, floating up to her level. 

"Belle," he said warmly, immediately reaching out and pinching one of her cheeks. "So good to see you. How've ya been?" Timmy tried not to snicker at the look of total and complete betrayal on Hat's face. Timmy and Bow were old friends. Old, old, old friends - Bow, being immortal like the rest of them, was much older than Timmy, and had even supposedly been there while he was born. 

Timmy wore a marching uniform identical to Hat's, sans the shako and wearing shorts rather than pants, and...were those red, glittery crocs? "Why are you here, T?" Bow inquired, purple eyes shining. 

"Long story." Timmy shrugged, casting a sideways glance at Hat. "I'm here to help you two."

"Help us!" Hat burst out abruptly. "My ass! You've never helped anybody in your life!"

"You of all people should know that's not true," Timmy growled darkly. 

Bow grimaced between Timmy and Hat. She only knew that Hat hated Timmy for some reason, and the feeling was apparently mutual. _Uh oh. This could go real bad if I'm not careful._

"W-well," she said with an uncomfortable smile. "Thank you! We really appreciate it!"

"No, we'd rather-"

Bow elbowed Hat in the ribs. "OW!"

Timmy glanced gratefully down at her. "Thanks, Belle. You were always a sweetie. Anytime, to help you." He glanced around the level they were on, taking in the dancefloors, disco balls and Moon penguins. "...Gosh, what a weird Rift," he said finally. "Never seen anything like it. " He motioned for Hat and Bow to follow. "C'mon, now. We got work to do, right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AKA two nerds bully the Snatcher relentlessly. 
> 
> Just letting you all know, there is a "companion" fic of sorts that I've recently published meant to contextualize Timmy's role in this story - it's not major spoilers about what's gonna happen in this story, nor is it required reading, it just helps make Timmy make more sense. It's called sic itur ad astra. It's also tragic. Fun.
> 
> I didn't remember until recently that apparently Timmy likes 80's slang. I'm so angry. I could've had so much fun with it! I'll just have to incorporate it more into his dialogue aaaaaa
> 
> See you next time!


End file.
